We’re speaking with Jo, founder of 50 So What — a platform helping people face midlife with honesty, humour and zero shame. From bladder leaks to body changes, Jo’s been through it — and she’s on a mission to break the silence around ageing.

In our chat, she shares her take on confidence, incontinence, and why opening up can be the most powerful thing we do.

What advice would you give to someone feeling embarrassed about new body challenges like bladder leaks?
It can be confronting. I wondered what the hell was going on! All of a sudden, I couldn’t hold on (I had to be near a toilet, or I would have an accident), I’d sneeze and pee myself, which was a shock for me. My advice is don’t feel embarrassed; it will only make the problem worse. Talk to your friend, your family, or whoever you feel comfortable talking to. The more I opened up about it, the more it was normalised. Once the stigma is removed, so is the embarrassment, and then solutions to the problem come, which is a positive.

Why do we need to talk more openly about incontinence?
Because the silence is worse than the symptom. The more we talk, the less shame there is. We can support each other and remind each other that it’s not just you. Together we’re stronger. When we share our experiences, we realise we’re not alone. We can help each other, laugh, cry, support each other — and that’s where strength comes from.

What would you say to someone skipping social events because of fear of leaks?
Don’t. There is so much you can do. Talk to someone, even your doctor. There are solutions. There are products, there are hormones, there are, in some cases, surgeries. You are not alone; this will not define you. I promise you, you will find some help, and before you know it, you will be confident living your life again. You’ve got this!

How do you stay confident when your body changes in ways you didn’t expect?
It’s hard. But the thing that helped me was talking about the changes. The changes in midlife are wild, and they can be very confronting, and they seem to happen ‘overnight’. One day you wake up and ‘bam’, everything has changed. My tummy was wobbler, I had a hairy upper lip, my boobs were heading south, my knees were starting to creak. 

Taking the stigma out of those changes, by making them normal and being open about it, helped. Having a laugh about it, also helped. If we aren’t embarrassed about what we are going through, we will be confident. Confident in the knowledge we aren’t alone, confident in the knowledge there is help, and confident in the knowledge that it’s going to be okay.


Living vibrantly means doing what you want — more fun, more adventure, and zero tosses given.” – Jo, founder of 50sowhat

How has your sense of confidence changed since turning 50?
This is the most confident I have ever been. The best thing about ageing is acceptance, and with acceptance comes confidence. It’s liberating. It’s something I never expected.

What does “feeling comfortable in your own skin” mean to you now?
Being happy and content and not stressing what others think and starting to love me, for who I am (it’s taken a long time).

What does "living vibrantly" mean to you after 50?
50 isn’t old. Midlife is when you usually gain the confidence and understanding you never really had. You have so much lived experience, and all of this combined makes us a force to be reckoned with. Living vibrantly is getting to live the life you want to. Taking up new challenges, travelling more, having more fun, being more active, not giving a toss about things. It’s liberating and it’s living vibrantly. 

How do you keep saying "yes" to life — even when challenges pop up?
For me, when I was younger, I never had the confidence to say yes. Now I am in my midlife, it’s empowering to say yes to life, even when we are confronted with challenges. You never know what you could be missing out on. Life is far too short. 

How has community — like 50 So What — helped people face the tougher conversations?
For me personally, creating 50 So What, helped me through what could have been a very isolating time in my life (midlife and menopause). We opened up conversations, we continue to laugh, cry and share this stage of our lives. It’s liberating to be able to open up conversations with other women who ‘just get it’. We support each other, we help each other. It’s been a lifesaver. We are each other’s cheerleaders. 

What would you say to someone who feels alone in all of this?
You are never alone — ever. So many of us have faced bladder leaks or body confidence dips. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone close, look for online midlife groups. We talk about all of it. Find your tribe. They’ll support you, and you’ll realise you’re not the only one — not by a long shot.

Jo Harvey Graham is the founder of 50 So What, a platform redefining what it means to hit your 50s — with real talk, good laughs, and zero retirement brochures. You can checkout their community here: sowhat.com.au